a new beginning

And so it is a new year...

A new beginning. A fresh start.

It is remarkable how - even though nothing really changes in the transition from December 31st to January 1st - we somehow feel refreshed. As if we have been given a new lease on life. We suddenly have new goals (for the same things), new energy (to tackle the same problems), new hope (for positive change in the same circumstances). We wait in hopeful anticipation of what the new year may bring.

When we have had a particularly rough year - like 2013 has been for many - we are especially eager to wave farewell to the old and expectantly welcome the new.

Even though I have just finished the new testament (and my NLT chronological Bible), I've decided to also start the new year with the new testament (this year taking on the Amplified Bible). After all, that is exactly what it represents: a new beginning, a fresh start. New life.

The very first chapter in the new testament (Matthew 1), describes the birth of Jesus - a promise fulfilled by God, representing the new covenant with His people. Offering a new beginning, a fresh start. Offering a new life to those who, unlike Herod, would accept Him as their Savior - the very meaning of His name (Jesus), also called Emmanuel - 

"God with us"

She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus [the Greek form of the Hebrew Joshua, which means Savior], for He will save His people from their sins [that is, prevent them from failing and missing the true end and scope of life, which is God]. All this took place that it might be fulfilled which the Lord had spoken through the prophet, "Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel–which, when translated, means, God with us." [Isa. 7:14.] (Matthew 1:21-23 AMP)

I would like to start this year having God-with-me. I want to walk it with my Savior, so that I will not miss God - the purpose of life.

Matthew fastforwards 30 odd years to the scene where Jesus is baptized in the Jordan by John the Baptist and the Spirit of God descends on Him. 

I have never noticed this before... In the last verse of Matthew 3, God proclaims His love for Jesus. But in the very next verse starting off Matthew 4, Jesus - led by the Spirit - is tested and tried by satan. Even though He is God's Beloved Son, in Whom He delights...

And behold, a voice from heaven said, This is My Son, My Beloved, in Whom I delight! [Ps. 2:7; Isa. 42:1.] (Matthew 3:17 AMP) THEN JESUS was led (guided) by the [Holy] Spirit into the wilderness (desert) to be tempted (tested and tried) by the devil. (Matthew 4:1 AMP)

Priscilla Shirer (One in a million: journey to your promised land)

called by name - part 2

As I was laying in bed this morning, listening to the rain pouring down - reluctant to start my day. To get up out of my warm and comfortable bed, to face the cold and wet. I considered that I haven't been very active in writing here lately. I have been going through an odd phase. Feeling that I am stagnating. Neglected, abandoned, forgotten.

The weather has not been helping. It's been a long, cold and wet winter. I haven't been able to go out walking with the dogs much - leaving them frustrated, as well as me. It is where I find my inspiration. It grounds me, gives me energy, gathers my spirit... If I do get a chance to take them for a walk though, they are so excited to be out. Dragging me along enthusiastically. The only thing I can focus on is not falling on my face on the slippery, muddy farm roads. 

I have also been reading the 24/7 Chronological Bible, which effectively means that I have been reading the old testament all year. Although I do think it is important to read, I have been struggling through Chronicles, Kings, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel... Which is overwhelmingly doom and gloom. Not easy reading. Not really lifting my spirits. I am starting to feel like the Israelites in their suffering. Punished, abandoned by God, banished from the promised land.

Recently, I have found myself - more than once - flipping through the remainder of my Bible to see when I will finally reach the new testament (as if it will somehow be sooner if I look more often). Considering that I may be backsliding into "the old testament view" of my religion. When people had to earn their salvation by the way they lived and behaved. Before Jesus came to save them from their misery.

But this morning I came upon one of the many gems in the old testament, in Ezekiel 34 (verses 11-24):

The prophet speaks about a God that will search, find and tend his sheep - Himself. A shepherd looking for his scattered flock. Rescuing them, feeding them, bringing them back home. Ending their suffering - not because they deserve it - but because He is a great and holy God (Ezekiel 36:22-24). Giving them good pastureland where they will lie down in peace, in pleasant places, feeding in lush pastures. Searching for the lost and strayed. Bandaging the injured and strengthening the weak. Giving them one shepherd to feed them and be a prince among them. Being their God.

It reminded me of this half written, almost forgotten post - that was meant to be part of called by name - part 1, but seemed to have a mind of its own, developing into a different message, with the same undercurrent. 

That we were each called by name.

called by name - part 1

Maybe it's just me, but for some reason every year as I am approaching yet another birthday, I find myself taking stock of my life. What I think I should have achieved in the year gone by. Where I should be in life. 

Comparing it to my reality. 

I suppose it is human nature to measure these things in material value. Compare yourself to others of similar age, background, education... To be honest - it can be extremely depressing. Demotivating. Disheartening.

So this year, as my birthday was drawing near towards the end of July, I found myself growing increasingly despondent. Feeling unhappy with my life. Another birthday - but still, in all appearances - in exactly the same place as the year before... And the year before...

Unfortunately for me - or maybe rather fortunately - God does not let you off the hook that easily. Sometimes He really has to make us uncomfortably aware of just how skewed we've had it.

And I have come to realize that this past year I have gained so much that can not be measured in material value. That is worth more than silver and gold (Psalm 119:72). Than money and luxury cars and expensive homes. 

During the week of my birthday I was blessed with such beautiful, inspiring scripture that spoke so directly to to me - right here in this place in my life - where I feel that I have fallen short of the world-that-we-live-in's standards. That it could only have been from a God who takes personal interest in us. In our heartaches and disappointments, our hopes and dreams. Even our feelings of insecurity and fear. 

A God who gives hope - when you feel that there is none. A God who cares enough to make you feel special on your birthday - in spite of your negative, ungrateful attitude. A God who loves you more than you would ever know.

let the Lord be your light

Rudely awakened from a deep sleep by our border collie, Jasper. Startled by his black and white face, illuminated by the flash of light in the bedroom - suddenly looming over my own in the darkness. He sat perched on the narrow ledge of bed, between me and the edge, almost on my face! Panting, nearly hyperventilating. Eyes bulging in fear of the lightning and thunder raging outside.

It is the second time in three days that this has happened. The older he gets, the more terrified he becomes of the storm outside.

Whispering words of reassurance, hugging him tightly to my body, in the hope of calming Him down. But the more I try to console him - apparently completely unaware of my attempts - he seems to be growing ever more frantic. Restlessly moving about the bed and over me. All hope of sleep abandoned. 

Until I manage to hold him down on his side, in my arms. Soothing. Stroking. He hesitantly gives in. Sighs and lays down his head. Calmed somewhat.

I find myself thinking that sometimes I must make God feel this way.  

He knows what is good for me. He planned my life long in advance. He knows what is coming. And what is not.
(Psalm 138:16)

But still - I struggle ahead with my own plans, frantically searching. Trying to make things fit. To calm my mind, my soul. And the more He tries to draw me close, to bring me near, to give me rest... The more I struggle and strain! Fighting for control. 

And I find the Spirit urging me to read the story about the lost sheep again. (Luke 15:3-7)

I have read it countless times. I know it by heart. But still the gentle nudge...

come back to Me and live!

This past week a friend was sharing something with me that she is going through. As she was speaking, I could so clearly see her words reflected back at me. At my life. Situations I have been in.

There's been so many times in my past - distant and near - when I have felt uncertain about the future. Worried. Afraid.

When I have felt that God is not with me. That He has abandoned me. That His favour is not over my life. Feeling so far removed from an intimate relationship with my Maker.

That is a dark place to be. Hopeless.

I have learned that - with God - there is no such thing as coincidence. Only confirmation...

So the next morning I came across this scripture in Hosea that so beautifully describes these feelings of loss and insecurity (with the context once again being Israel forsaking their God):

The Lord says that if we return to Him, He will heal us and bandage our wounds. He will restore us "in just a short time". So that we may live in His presence and know Him. The scripture urges you to press on and know Him. Promising that He will respond. Like the arrival of dawn. Like the rain in early spring. Without any doubt! (Hosea 6:1-3)

"...for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you..." (Hosea 11:9 NLT)

in the shadow of Your wings

I haven't written here for awhile. Mostly because I was fortunate enough to take some much needed time out and travel to Europe for two weeks. But also, even if I did have time to write during the last week of our trip, I was feeling somewhat at a loss on what to write about. Blank.

Sitting on the flight back to Cape Town, I was considering my circumstances at home, feeling myself slip back into despair about the current state of the life I was returning to. Coming to the realization of just how badly I had needed to get away and just forget about everything. Even if it was just for a little while. But sadly (I have to confess), at the same time, also how unashamedly I had neglected my quiet time with God over the past two weeks. I had even taken a break from that!

All things considered - most probably my lack of quiet time goes a long way in explaining my state of mind at the time.

Having just returned from our trip, I was feeling a bit out of sorts. Wondering how I was going to get back into the spiritual routine I had worked so hard to establish. And so easily let slip. Not because God expects it of me, but because I really do need it. Like breathing.

And so, on my first morning back home, I open my Bible to Psalm 36 (verse 5-9):

Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths. You care for people and animals alike, O Lord. How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings. You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your river of delights. For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see.

Even though I had planned to catch up on my shamefully behind daily Bible reading plan, I got stuck right away on this Psalm. And I recall having read words by Priscilla Shirer - something to this extent: When you feel the Word of God leap out of the page and stun you, stop right there. Don't rush ahead with your Bible reading. Because it is the living Word of God at work. It is not some random coincidence. It is God Himself speaking to you through His Word.

Psalm 36 says that God's love for us is unfailing. It is as vast as the heavens. The greatness and extent of God's love for us is so indescribable that David used our only known reference. Creation. The heavens and the clouds. And even that is beyond human grasp.

the desires of your heart

Some time ago, I started my day with the certainty that God does not give us hopes and dreams, just to make it unattainable for us. If he puts something on our hearts, he has meant to put it there. And it is something that we can dare to hope for. To trust for.

For some time now I have been walking around with this thought and thinking about what I actually want to write about it. Although I knew that there is something there, I was not quite sure what it is that I need to say on this subject... So I  decided to look up what scripture has to say about it.

This is what the Word of God says:

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.  (Psalm 37:4 AMP)

My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him. (Psalm 62:5 AMP) The Message says: Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.

The eyes of all look expectantly to You and You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. (Psalms 145:15, 16 NKJV)

a journey of faith

I used to think that being a Christian meant acknowledging it. Going to church once in a while, reading the Bible when there was time (which wasn't all that often) and praying to God if I needed something.

I suppose in the very basic sense, it could be. During the Old Testament times, I would probably have been in trouble! But now, after Christ, all we have to do is believe.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:9-10, 13 NLT

But it is so much more than that.

It is a lifestyle. A life changing, mind altering one. 

It is also a journey. A process. One that, once started, is practically impossible to stop.

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ right up to the time of His return, developing that good work and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. Philippians 1:6 AMP

trust without borders - part 2

Ironically I recently talked about coincidence (or, maybe rather the opposite of it). Something God wants to highlight for you. To focus your attention. And make you take note.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:8-9 NLT

These are the verses that my attention has recently been drawn to. Continuously. From various sources.

And it has somehow drawn me back to a song that has also recently given me pause - from a post I did, called trust without borders. My focus was on trust and faith. Which is - still - absolutely true. I still, most definitely, want to have trust without borders and for my faith to be made stronger.

But the song goes so much deeper than that.