let the Lord be your light

Rudely awakened from a deep sleep by our border collie, Jasper. Startled by his black and white face, illuminated by the flash of light in the bedroom - suddenly looming over my own in the darkness. He sat perched on the narrow ledge of bed, between me and the edge, almost on my face! Panting, nearly hyperventilating. Eyes bulging in fear of the lightning and thunder raging outside.

It is the second time in three days that this has happened. The older he gets, the more terrified he becomes of the storm outside.

Whispering words of reassurance, hugging him tightly to my body, in the hope of calming Him down. But the more I try to console him - apparently completely unaware of my attempts - he seems to be growing ever more frantic. Restlessly moving about the bed and over me. All hope of sleep abandoned. 

Until I manage to hold him down on his side, in my arms. Soothing. Stroking. He hesitantly gives in. Sighs and lays down his head. Calmed somewhat.

I find myself thinking that sometimes I must make God feel this way.  

He knows what is good for me. He planned my life long in advance. He knows what is coming. And what is not.
(Psalm 138:16)

But still - I struggle ahead with my own plans, frantically searching. Trying to make things fit. To calm my mind, my soul. And the more He tries to draw me close, to bring me near, to give me rest... The more I struggle and strain! Fighting for control. 

And I find the Spirit urging me to read the story about the lost sheep again. (Luke 15:3-7)

I have read it countless times. I know it by heart. But still the gentle nudge...

come back to Me and live!

This past week a friend was sharing something with me that she is going through. As she was speaking, I could so clearly see her words reflected back at me. At my life. Situations I have been in.

There's been so many times in my past - distant and near - when I have felt uncertain about the future. Worried. Afraid.

When I have felt that God is not with me. That He has abandoned me. That His favour is not over my life. Feeling so far removed from an intimate relationship with my Maker.

That is a dark place to be. Hopeless.

I have learned that - with God - there is no such thing as coincidence. Only confirmation...

So the next morning I came across this scripture in Hosea that so beautifully describes these feelings of loss and insecurity (with the context once again being Israel forsaking their God):

The Lord says that if we return to Him, He will heal us and bandage our wounds. He will restore us "in just a short time". So that we may live in His presence and know Him. The scripture urges you to press on and know Him. Promising that He will respond. Like the arrival of dawn. Like the rain in early spring. Without any doubt! (Hosea 6:1-3)

"...for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you..." (Hosea 11:9 NLT)

just breathe...

It was raining as I woke up on Tuesday morning. Winter is creeping up on us. It was chilly and still black night outside the window. When the world outside is still sleeping, I find it extremely hard to wake up. But I knew that I had to take the dogs for their walk - rain or shine. I haven't walked them for 2 days and (as border collies tend to get without exercise) Luka was becoming increasingly hyperactive and restless. Throwing sad glances my way each time she realized that "the walk" wasn't happening.

And I just felt like pulling the duvet over my head and staying in bed. But walk we were going to do...

Before the dreaded walk, still warmly tucked under the covers, I read a chapter from the book, Unmerited Favor by Joseph Prince, called Practicing the Presence of Jesus.

The chapter starts with the following: "Let's look at some practical keys on how you can begin to experience God's manifested presence in your life by practicing His presence. It is one thing to know theoretically that God is with you, but to experience His presence, you have to increase your consciousness of His presence by practicing His presence! This is not something difficult. In fact, it should be rather effortless..."

As I am reading this, my heart sinks.

I have read and heard and been given advice about my walk with God - by many well meaning Christians. The thing that usually gets me down is that, most of the time, you are given a message but are not told how to implement it. 

Maybe that person doesn't know how to do this. Maybe you are expected to know how to do it all by yourself. But I usually end up feeling discouraged and defeated because it just seems like another idealistic theory that seems impossible to apply in your life.

Immediately I think: Off course I want to experience God's presence, but HOW do you practice it??

The fantastic thing about this book is that it is written as a practical guideline and the author actually does give you realistic, everyday examples of how you can practice God's presence.

puppy love

I have often wondered what it would be like if we could be more like our dogs when it comes to our faith.

I know everyone out there are not dog people. To be honest, I don't get it. Yes, I know that they are a big responsibility. They bark, they are messy, they don't clean up after themselves. And don't even mention the hair!

But I love dogs. Two in particular. They are drawn to me - all shapes and sizes and breeds. I think they sense how much I adore them. For years I have had this deep longing to have one (or two) of my own. I just knew that it would change my life.

When I met my husband Waldo, I didn't think that he was my type, at first... Little did I know. But he had these two adorable border collies. They stole my heart before he did. Jasper was mine from the start - he is easy like that. Luka made me work for it - but now I am one of her select few. God knew my heart.

These dogs and I adopted each other. Absolutely.