Perspective

By Marti-Mari Kellerman

In the space of a short few weeks our lives have changed dramatically. Many people all over the world would, a mere month ago, not have been able to fathom this strange new reality. Many of us took our daily routines for granted. Being able to meet with family and friends. Going to work or school, being able to go to church, the gym or out shopping. A walk, a run or cycle out in nature. To name but a few. Little did we know how drastically all of this was about to change. In a heartbeat. Our very freedom of being able to do and go as we please, taken away in an instant.

South Africans are in our second week of “lockdown”. We have been told to stay home, to stay safe. Much like the rest of the world. 87% of the world’s children reported as currently being unable to attend school. Each family effectively locked into their own home. Only allowed to leave for emergency services like medical care or basic necessities. That is now the law. Unless you are a healthcare or essential worker.

But this excess of time that was so unceremoniously dumped into our laps is also a rare and special gift. One that should be embraced and cherished. To draw near to God, focus on spiritual growth and time in the Word. To spend quality time with our families. To do fun activities with our kids. To catch up on rest and sleep. To exercise and get fit. To do all the things we never seem to have time for at home. To learn a new skill or dust off an old one. To slow down. And just be.

If you ask anyone that know me well, they would know that my challenge in life these days is balance. Not enough time. I struggle with keeping all the precious balls of modern day life in the air. To manage all the things that is expected of me. As a mother, a wife, a daughter and sister, a small business owner, a home maker, friend or colleague. Not even to mention self-care or staying healthy and fit. Or spending time with God, growing my faith. Sometimes it just gets too much. Overwhelming. And I always seem to fall short. Somewhere. To drop one of those precariously balanced balls...

So I guess in the current circumstances, the word that resonates with me most is “perspective”.

The dictionary defines it as:
"the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance"; "a particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view"; "a particular perspective is a particular way of thinking about something, especially one that is influenced by your beliefs or experiences".

Let’s face it. We are all in this together. And each of us will be affected in one way or another. Through our health. Our financial security, work/job stability or ability to generate income. Emotional trauma of being unable to be with our loved ones. Or having to take the daily risk of going to work as a healthcare or essential service worker. And not being able to stay home.

So do we focus on our fears and anxieties? Our worries and concerns about the future? Do we get tangled up in the web of uncertainty and doubt? In the, now very unknown, expectation of our futures and financial security. Our ability to meet all the demands life has been throwing at us. Whether we would be able to recover from all of this in the end?

Or do we choose to see the silver lining? The calm inside the storm? The gift amidst the chaos?

During the early days, when it was just becoming apparent that South Africa was the latest victim on the Corona virus’s ever expanding hit list. And the government was just introducing the concept of social distancing. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling suddenly anxious and afraid. And this scripture was a whisper in the dark.

2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:2-5‬ ‭AMP‬‬: “Grace to you and peace [inner calm and spiritual well-being] from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as Christ’s sufferings are ours in abundance [as they overflow to His followers], so also our comfort [our reassurance, our encouragement, our consolation] is abundant through Christ [it is truly more than enough to endure what we must].”

If we keep our eyes on God, He will give us peace. Inner calm and spiritual well-being. He will comfort us and encourage us in our time of trouble and uncertainty. So that we can also comfort others. The Word promises reassurance, encouragement and consolation. In abundance. More than enough to endure what we must!

Paul goes on to say that they had felt as if they had a received a death sentence. That they were even convinced that they would die. But that it had happened so that they would not trust in themselves, but in God who raises the dead. That they had set their hopes on Him, as He had rescued them from the threat of death and would continue to rescue them. They were convinced that He would rescue them again from danger and draw them near. While the prayers of the church joined in helping them. They said that many people would be thankful for the “gracious gift of deliverance” that was granted to them through the prayers of many believers... 2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:9-11‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I believe that this scripture confirms that God would rescue us from the "threat of death" - this deadly virus. He is able to raise the dead! He will also rescue us from this threat we are facing. But we must not trust in ourselves. Or our own selfish needs and desires right now. But set our hopes on Him, lift our eyes to Him. Seek Him and His instruction by reading His Word. And pray!

What is our perspective?

Will be give in to our fears and anxieties about the future? Do we worry about circumstances we have no control over? Do we complain and grumble about having to stay home, our kids, our boredom, our frustrations?

Or do we hope? Do we believe. And grow? Do we pray. And focus on the positive?

Nothing will ever be the same. Ever again.

We do not yet know what our new reality will look like. But in a world after this, my hope is that we will emerge to live on an elevated level. Not just having endured what we must. But also growing in the process. That we will live intentionally. With purpose. And with gratitude. Our minds and hearts forever changed.

Never again will we take for granted the things we once had. Human contact. Spending time with loved ones. Being able to go places freely. Being able to move and interact. Having a job and the ability to earn an income. Being thankful for our blessings. Our homes and families. Our health and livelihoods.

It's all about Grace... mx

thespaceforgrace.blogspot.com 

a new beginning

And so it is a new year...

A new beginning. A fresh start.

It is remarkable how - even though nothing really changes in the transition from December 31st to January 1st - we somehow feel refreshed. As if we have been given a new lease on life. We suddenly have new goals (for the same things), new energy (to tackle the same problems), new hope (for positive change in the same circumstances). We wait in hopeful anticipation of what the new year may bring.

When we have had a particularly rough year - like 2013 has been for many - we are especially eager to wave farewell to the old and expectantly welcome the new.

Even though I have just finished the new testament (and my NLT chronological Bible), I've decided to also start the new year with the new testament (this year taking on the Amplified Bible). After all, that is exactly what it represents: a new beginning, a fresh start. New life.

The very first chapter in the new testament (Matthew 1), describes the birth of Jesus - a promise fulfilled by God, representing the new covenant with His people. Offering a new beginning, a fresh start. Offering a new life to those who, unlike Herod, would accept Him as their Savior - the very meaning of His name (Jesus), also called Emmanuel - 

"God with us"

She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus [the Greek form of the Hebrew Joshua, which means Savior], for He will save His people from their sins [that is, prevent them from failing and missing the true end and scope of life, which is God]. All this took place that it might be fulfilled which the Lord had spoken through the prophet, "Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel–which, when translated, means, God with us." [Isa. 7:14.] (Matthew 1:21-23 AMP)

I would like to start this year having God-with-me. I want to walk it with my Savior, so that I will not miss God - the purpose of life.

Matthew fastforwards 30 odd years to the scene where Jesus is baptized in the Jordan by John the Baptist and the Spirit of God descends on Him. 

I have never noticed this before... In the last verse of Matthew 3, God proclaims His love for Jesus. But in the very next verse starting off Matthew 4, Jesus - led by the Spirit - is tested and tried by satan. Even though He is God's Beloved Son, in Whom He delights...

And behold, a voice from heaven said, This is My Son, My Beloved, in Whom I delight! [Ps. 2:7; Isa. 42:1.] (Matthew 3:17 AMP) THEN JESUS was led (guided) by the [Holy] Spirit into the wilderness (desert) to be tempted (tested and tried) by the devil. (Matthew 4:1 AMP)

Priscilla Shirer (One in a million: journey to your promised land)

it's all about faith

I haven't been writing for a while... The more time goes by, the easier it becomes not to. The less time I seem to have. The more excuses I find. And the easier it will be to stop altogether. 

I have come to realize that if I don't get back into it soon, that is exactly what will happen.

The truth is that I have really been struggling lately. Hitting an all time low. Refusing to let me out of its debilitating grip. Squeezing. Suffocating.

Ironically, just before it happened, I got several messages urging me to never stop doing this. Ever. So, somewhere at the back of my mind, I know that I still have to do it. I feel a sense of responsibility to keep going, because this is not just about me or for me anymore - as much as I'd like to argue otherwise. And I have learned that the hardest, most painful things to write, are usually what means the most to others.

This year - one that I was hoping would be the year of breakthrough for us - has really (no sugar coating) been an exceptionally rough one for me. A series of crushing disappointments. On multiple levels of my life. Seemingly the more I pray, trust, hope... beg. The worse it's become. Until I have come to a point where I am unable to do it anymore. Doubting my faith. Questioning my God.

To some degree, I have actually been afraid to write. Of what I might write. Catapulting from a spiritual high to an extreme low, is in itself a disappointing blow to me. 

I've come to a point where I don't want to go to church. Or do mentoring. Or pray. I don't want to talk about it anymore, because I am honestly sick to death of all the cliches: "God has something bigger, better planned for you. Everything will work out... in His time. There is a plan and a purpose with all of this"... I am tired of hearing how things are working out so perfectly for others - magically falling into place by some or other miracle. It all just seems so futile. Like some cruel, twisted joke. And even though I still read my Bible on most days, I find a disturbing feeling welling up inside of me. Silently, disdainfully scoffing at the message. Angry at God. Not believing a word. Because how do you believe when things just keep going from bad to worse?

I must say... I have been sufficiently chastised. From various angles. My husband. Friends. A sermon meant specifically for me. Because my attitude needs some serious revision. I need to see this as an opportunity to grow and learn. To quit feeling so damned sorry for myself. Making it all about me. Because it's not. 

In the end it's all about faith.

Granted - It is not always easy to have faith. Especially if you are trusting God for something that just does not seem to happen. And doesn't look like it is going to...

(Encouraging word by Priscilla Shirer - a mighty woman of God. Incredibly inspiring when I need a boost of faith)

the breakthrough

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

- Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Since we got married over two years ago (my husband much longer), we have been living in circumstances that - to me - are extremely challenging. Someone else might consider it a minor hurdle. But - to me - because of my personality, my upbringing, my background, the main source of my income, the very things that I value in life - it is one of the worst positions imaginable.

And - I want to state upfront - I have grown more spiritually than I ever have before - because of it. I am beyond grateful for this.

But. It has been an emotional roller-coaster. Very trying at times. Hard on my marriage.

At times I could live with it, in the hope that it would soon change. At times I have been at the very limit of my patience, no end anywhere in sight. At times - I have wanted to walk away. More than anything.

Each heart knows its own bitterness and no one else can fully share its joy.
- Proverbs 14:10 NLT

I am a firm believer that the worst experience an individual has had in their lifetime, is the worst that they know. Until something else comes along to dwarf the last known benchmark. 

Do not belittle it. Whatever it is.

Do not tell them that there is someone else worse off. You're not helping. On the contrary - you are just making them feel worse. Ungrateful. Believe me, they know this. There always is - deserved or not. They also know that there's always someone else much better off.

You can not know another person's hopes and dreams. You can not know their fears and challenges. Their experience. If you have not walked in their shoes.

You don't miss a thing

One night last week I went to bed with doubt in my heart. To me - it seems - that God is answering everyone's prayers but mine. And suddenly I am filled with doubt. Does God care about me? Why doesn't He change my circumstances when He can so obviously do it without any effort? Does He even know about me? About my life? My circumstances? Why doesn't He change it when I ask Him to?

And immediately I feel ashamed. Ashamed because I write this blog about faith and trust and belief. And still I doubt... And the enemy comes to kill and destroy. Whispering more words of doubt in my ear. Why do you even bother... You are just wasting your time. What difference does it make anyway?

As I was drifting off to sleep, I thought of people that have asked God for signs. And then more signs to prove that the first one was real. And I pray that He will give me a sign so that I will know that He will come through for me. That He will give me the breakthrough that I have been praying for - for so long. That He will increase my faith and trust and hope in Him.  

The next morning I woke up with words of a song You know me by Bethel Music (The Loft Sessions) playing in my mind: 

"And nothing is hidden from Your sight. Wherever I go, You find me. You know every detail of my life. And You are God. And You don't miss a thing. O, You know me..." 

"You memorize me." 

Doesn't that just say it all? It captures His great love for us.

And as the morning progresses, I get three messages, from three completely unrelated people. Saying that something that I wrote was meant for them. That it inspires them. That it somehow makes a difference to them. 

Whenever I have doubt in my heart about writing this blog, this is what happens - three messages from three individuals, communicated in three different ways. Surely - divine encouragement! God uses you (you know who you are) to encourage me too. Thank you! It means the world to me.

trust without borders - part 3

In my mind's eye I have this image of a lake. It is set next to a range of smaller valleys and hills. Calm and smooth as a mirror. The time of day must be dusk, because all the colours are fading away and everything is painted in shades of grey. One colour flowing into the next, with only the contrast of dark and light that differentiates shapes. Reflections glimmering on the surface of the water.

The image is tranquil. Calm and soothing.

For some reason I imagine this to be a place where Jesus would be. Maybe from the scene where Jesus was teaching the multitudes at the Sea of Galilee (also called the Lake of Gennesaret). After the crowds have left. So I look for Him on the far shore and for a moment I see a profile in the shadows. But it must be my imagination playing tricks on me. There is no-one there.

Then, totally unexpected, I feel a tender embrace from behind me. And I realise that, even though I don't always see Him, He is always there. Carrying me through whatever my situation is. With tender love and support.

I will call upon your name. Keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in your embrace. I am Yours and You are mine. (Oceans, Hillsong United)

You may have noticed that this song is of special significance to me (for reasons not completely known to me). As I mentioned in my first post about it, trust without borders - part 1 - it touches my spirit. Every time I listen to it, it seems to give me a new message. A deeper meaning.

So, quite understandably, when they gave this song special attention during the opening ceremony of the recent Hillsong Colour Conference in Cape Town, which I had the priveledge of attending earlier in April - I was elated. Overcome by emotion.

I thought that it was beautiful and special and awesome. But I didn't make much more of it. I didn't read a deeper meaning into it. Or think that it had special significance for me. At the time, I thought that it was pure coincidence.

battlefield of the mind - part 1

We have been away for a couple of days over the Easter holidays. To take some time out of an already busy and challenging year. At the end of 2012 I had declared that 2013 was going to be my year - the year where things were going to start working out for us.

But I started the year feeling exhausted. And so far this year has been even harder than the last one.

This week was meant to be a week of rest and restoration. But nearing the end of our break, I am feeling even more exhausted than before. Feeling stressed and tired and discouraged. The results are wreaking havoc on my body - physically and emotionally.

The thing that set all of this into motion, was an unexpected blow that threatens the existence of a business venture of the past two plus years. A venture that demanded large measures of sacrifice, time, effort and a huge financial investment from my family. And it meant that I had to get out of my comfort zone.

A venture that was just starting to show the fruits of our efforts. And is now effectively going to die a swift death. With me on the losing side. And the duration and casualties of war still undetermined.

Arguably this is big. And it will have massive implications for me. It should be expected that it is going to have some kind of impact on me. But how I choose to deal with it is my decision... And it will - in the end - determine the outcome.

trust without borders - part 2

Ironically I recently talked about coincidence (or, maybe rather the opposite of it). Something God wants to highlight for you. To focus your attention. And make you take note.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:8-9 NLT

These are the verses that my attention has recently been drawn to. Continuously. From various sources.

And it has somehow drawn me back to a song that has also recently given me pause - from a post I did, called trust without borders. My focus was on trust and faith. Which is - still - absolutely true. I still, most definitely, want to have trust without borders and for my faith to be made stronger.

But the song goes so much deeper than that.

trust without borders - part 1

Sometimes I struggle with trust.

The world we live in makes it hard for us to trust. People make it hard for us to trust. But we forget that God is not like people. He is not like the world.

Trusting Him should be easy. It is something that I aspire to - trusting God completely.

I always listen to the words of songs. To my husband's frustration. He says that I spoil the songs for him by pointing out words that don't make sense. But it is actually the words that spoil the song. To me it is not just about a beautiful melody or a catchy tune. It has to mean something.

The lyrics of this beautiful song by Hillsong United touch my spirit. It resonates with my heart.

This is what I long for in my life right now. Trust without borders. For my faith to be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour.

Oceans (where my feet may fail) - Hillsong United