all for Your glory, God

We don't always understand why "bad" or hard things happen to us. Why we have to go through setbacks. Disappointments. Challenging times.

I honestly don't.

Some of us just seem to have more than our fair share of these periods of difficulty thrown at us by life. I am definitely one of those people. Nothing seems to ever be straightforward. Or easy. Always a fight. Always a challenge.

I don't know if I make it more difficult than it needs to be... Unaccepting. Over analyzing. Offering excessive resistance. 

The question remains: Why does God allow it?

Struggling through an especially persistent phase of challenge, in my quest to determine it's purpose - I have come to a recent revelation: It is to show His glory.

Blessed | Matthew 5:4 from Moving Works on Vimeo.

rain down on me - part 2

The gravel farm roads are starting to resemble a riverbank. Streams of water running along its banks. Joining together in countless murky pools and puddles. Greedily snatching at sand, gravel, small pebbles and branches - carrying it along its course. Digging away at the surface. Eroding the exposed earth. 

Rain clouds are gathering. Full in expectation of its release. Bursting. The skies are dark and heavy with water. Fat drops drizzling from above. Slowly at first. Growing in its urgency. Gathering momentum, strengthening the assault... Finally, drenching the scene.

As I am walking along, taking all of this in - I think about a devotion I've read in this little book Come Away My Beloved by Frances Roberts, called "Rain". And I recall thinking that it is all about perspective. Winters and rain do not have to be a thing of hardship and suffering. It could be about blessings and abundance! About God's joy and provision.

The devotion starts with an urging to go and look "for the rain is coming" - proclaiming that the drought is over and the sound of rain is approaching. It says: "Yes, I will send showers of blessing upon the hearts of my waiting people; for before they call, I have prepared an answer, and while they are seeking Me, I shall come down upon them." 

God's Spirit is the Rain. He comes to revive and refresh. He comes to bring relief to the parched ground. To bring forth new life. To bring flowers to the desert.

Joel 2:23 NLT says: "Rejoice in the Lord your God! For the rain he sends demonstrates his faithfulness."

I haven't written here for a while. Partly because I have been really busy at work. Partly because I am at a place where I don't really know what to write anymore... Exhausted from repeated disappointments - taking everything out of me. Sucking me dry. The storm raging in my mind.

It is hard to come back from a place like that. Especially if it starts to consume your life. Overshadowing all else. As the Casting Crowns song so beautifully claims (all you can do, is to) Come to the Well.

I seem to find songs that, for some reason, I latch onto and then for a period of time, repeatedly listen to. Until I begin to hear the layers of meaning underneath the words. Until it sinks in and becomes my own. This is my current song. And it so beautifully relays the story of the Samaritan woman at the well in John, describing Jesus as the Living Water.

Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water... those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” (John 4:10, 14 NLT)

called by name - part 2

As I was laying in bed this morning, listening to the rain pouring down - reluctant to start my day. To get up out of my warm and comfortable bed, to face the cold and wet. I considered that I haven't been very active in writing here lately. I have been going through an odd phase. Feeling that I am stagnating. Neglected, abandoned, forgotten.

The weather has not been helping. It's been a long, cold and wet winter. I haven't been able to go out walking with the dogs much - leaving them frustrated, as well as me. It is where I find my inspiration. It grounds me, gives me energy, gathers my spirit... If I do get a chance to take them for a walk though, they are so excited to be out. Dragging me along enthusiastically. The only thing I can focus on is not falling on my face on the slippery, muddy farm roads. 

I have also been reading the 24/7 Chronological Bible, which effectively means that I have been reading the old testament all year. Although I do think it is important to read, I have been struggling through Chronicles, Kings, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel... Which is overwhelmingly doom and gloom. Not easy reading. Not really lifting my spirits. I am starting to feel like the Israelites in their suffering. Punished, abandoned by God, banished from the promised land.

Recently, I have found myself - more than once - flipping through the remainder of my Bible to see when I will finally reach the new testament (as if it will somehow be sooner if I look more often). Considering that I may be backsliding into "the old testament view" of my religion. When people had to earn their salvation by the way they lived and behaved. Before Jesus came to save them from their misery.

But this morning I came upon one of the many gems in the old testament, in Ezekiel 34 (verses 11-24):

The prophet speaks about a God that will search, find and tend his sheep - Himself. A shepherd looking for his scattered flock. Rescuing them, feeding them, bringing them back home. Ending their suffering - not because they deserve it - but because He is a great and holy God (Ezekiel 36:22-24). Giving them good pastureland where they will lie down in peace, in pleasant places, feeding in lush pastures. Searching for the lost and strayed. Bandaging the injured and strengthening the weak. Giving them one shepherd to feed them and be a prince among them. Being their God.

It reminded me of this half written, almost forgotten post - that was meant to be part of called by name - part 1, but seemed to have a mind of its own, developing into a different message, with the same undercurrent. 

That we were each called by name.

countless wonders

Creation. God's amazing masterpiece. What we see around us every day.

It is something I have been meaning to write about for some time. But it is such an awe inspiring, beautifully overwhelming thing. That I have found it hard to put the right words to it. Maybe because there are none. Human words can not grasp it.

My favourite time of day is just before the sun sets. Everything is bathed in hues of yellow and gold. Making the world appear soft and friendly. A happy place.

For years I didn't spend much time outdoors. I have an office job. And I am not sporty. So by default I don't get outside much. Since I have started walking our dogs however, I spend time in the same little part of nature on most days.

The thing that never ceases to amaze me is how different that little bit of world is from one day to the next. It changes. Constantly. Not one day is the same.

The backdrop is painted in different colours, with strokes of cloud and sky. Some days have flawlessly blue skies with sunshine enhancing the colour of every little detail. Other days are gloomy and dark, seeped in shades of gray, rain drenching the earth with its goodness.

"Both day and night belong to you; you made the starlight and the sun. You set the boundaries of the earth, and made both summer and winter." (Psalm 74:16-17 NLT)

Weather. Seasons. Birds. Animals. Even my state of mind. It all influences what that part of nature looks like. Sounds like. Feels like. And it is different. Every day.

And that is just looking from one individual's perspective, at one part of the day, in one tiny part of the world - as we know it. 

On one particular day, it is different from one hour to the next. Imagine the countless variations every day, at every hour, in every part of creation. Each day, each hour is a masterpiece. Created for our pleasure. And each of us experience it in our own unique way.

"The heavens are Yours, and the earth is Yours; everything in the world is Yours - You created it all. You created north and south." (Psalm 89:11-12 NLT)

rain down on me - part 1

As I mentioned in my last post, we have recently been on a vacation to Europe. And although it was an experience of a lifetime - as with many things in life - it did not quite turn out as we had hoped or planned...

The first week of our long anticipated trip was packed with exciting sights and experiences - we hardly touched ground, making it our mission to see every sight and do every thing humanly possible in the time available to us.

The second week however, was the main reason for our trip. It has been in the pipeline for more than a year and was to be at a much slower pace. It involved a barge trip with my family on the canals of the French winelands of Burgundy - to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday. We were hoping for good family bonding time, sunny spring weather, good food, good wine, maybe even a tan if we were lucky. As romantic as that sounds, unfortunately, we were not.

On top of icy cold weather (and an especially persistent sinus infection for me), the heavens opened up and poured down consistently for most of our week. We seem to have been somewhat over enthusiastic for the tourist season, that only starts in June, which meant that we found most of the shops and restaurants closed in the little French towns we visited. Before our very eyes, we saw the level of the water in the canals rising within days. 

As I had to spend most of my time inside the cabin of the boat, it felt as if I was missing out on the beautiful scenery and countryside. On an experience that I felt that I was owed somehow. At the time, I remember thinking, that it was just so typical of this phase of my life that I am in. Seemingly - a winter without end.