Perspective

By Marti-Mari Kellerman

In the space of a short few weeks our lives have changed dramatically. Many people all over the world would, a mere month ago, not have been able to fathom this strange new reality. Many of us took our daily routines for granted. Being able to meet with family and friends. Going to work or school, being able to go to church, the gym or out shopping. A walk, a run or cycle out in nature. To name but a few. Little did we know how drastically all of this was about to change. In a heartbeat. Our very freedom of being able to do and go as we please, taken away in an instant.

South Africans are in our second week of “lockdown”. We have been told to stay home, to stay safe. Much like the rest of the world. 87% of the world’s children reported as currently being unable to attend school. Each family effectively locked into their own home. Only allowed to leave for emergency services like medical care or basic necessities. That is now the law. Unless you are a healthcare or essential worker.

But this excess of time that was so unceremoniously dumped into our laps is also a rare and special gift. One that should be embraced and cherished. To draw near to God, focus on spiritual growth and time in the Word. To spend quality time with our families. To do fun activities with our kids. To catch up on rest and sleep. To exercise and get fit. To do all the things we never seem to have time for at home. To learn a new skill or dust off an old one. To slow down. And just be.

If you ask anyone that know me well, they would know that my challenge in life these days is balance. Not enough time. I struggle with keeping all the precious balls of modern day life in the air. To manage all the things that is expected of me. As a mother, a wife, a daughter and sister, a small business owner, a home maker, friend or colleague. Not even to mention self-care or staying healthy and fit. Or spending time with God, growing my faith. Sometimes it just gets too much. Overwhelming. And I always seem to fall short. Somewhere. To drop one of those precariously balanced balls...

So I guess in the current circumstances, the word that resonates with me most is “perspective”.

The dictionary defines it as:
"the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance"; "a particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view"; "a particular perspective is a particular way of thinking about something, especially one that is influenced by your beliefs or experiences".

Let’s face it. We are all in this together. And each of us will be affected in one way or another. Through our health. Our financial security, work/job stability or ability to generate income. Emotional trauma of being unable to be with our loved ones. Or having to take the daily risk of going to work as a healthcare or essential service worker. And not being able to stay home.

So do we focus on our fears and anxieties? Our worries and concerns about the future? Do we get tangled up in the web of uncertainty and doubt? In the, now very unknown, expectation of our futures and financial security. Our ability to meet all the demands life has been throwing at us. Whether we would be able to recover from all of this in the end?

Or do we choose to see the silver lining? The calm inside the storm? The gift amidst the chaos?

During the early days, when it was just becoming apparent that South Africa was the latest victim on the Corona virus’s ever expanding hit list. And the government was just introducing the concept of social distancing. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling suddenly anxious and afraid. And this scripture was a whisper in the dark.

2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:2-5‬ ‭AMP‬‬: “Grace to you and peace [inner calm and spiritual well-being] from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as Christ’s sufferings are ours in abundance [as they overflow to His followers], so also our comfort [our reassurance, our encouragement, our consolation] is abundant through Christ [it is truly more than enough to endure what we must].”

If we keep our eyes on God, He will give us peace. Inner calm and spiritual well-being. He will comfort us and encourage us in our time of trouble and uncertainty. So that we can also comfort others. The Word promises reassurance, encouragement and consolation. In abundance. More than enough to endure what we must!

Paul goes on to say that they had felt as if they had a received a death sentence. That they were even convinced that they would die. But that it had happened so that they would not trust in themselves, but in God who raises the dead. That they had set their hopes on Him, as He had rescued them from the threat of death and would continue to rescue them. They were convinced that He would rescue them again from danger and draw them near. While the prayers of the church joined in helping them. They said that many people would be thankful for the “gracious gift of deliverance” that was granted to them through the prayers of many believers... 2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:9-11‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I believe that this scripture confirms that God would rescue us from the "threat of death" - this deadly virus. He is able to raise the dead! He will also rescue us from this threat we are facing. But we must not trust in ourselves. Or our own selfish needs and desires right now. But set our hopes on Him, lift our eyes to Him. Seek Him and His instruction by reading His Word. And pray!

What is our perspective?

Will be give in to our fears and anxieties about the future? Do we worry about circumstances we have no control over? Do we complain and grumble about having to stay home, our kids, our boredom, our frustrations?

Or do we hope? Do we believe. And grow? Do we pray. And focus on the positive?

Nothing will ever be the same. Ever again.

We do not yet know what our new reality will look like. But in a world after this, my hope is that we will emerge to live on an elevated level. Not just having endured what we must. But also growing in the process. That we will live intentionally. With purpose. And with gratitude. Our minds and hearts forever changed.

Never again will we take for granted the things we once had. Human contact. Spending time with loved ones. Being able to go places freely. Being able to move and interact. Having a job and the ability to earn an income. Being thankful for our blessings. Our homes and families. Our health and livelihoods.

It's all about Grace... mx

thespaceforgrace.blogspot.com 

A life of Purpose in a changed world.

By Marti-Mari Kellerman

We are living in a changed world.

In the space of a short few weeks the virus, that most of us have only heard about vaguely from other parts of the world, now the buzz word on everybody’s lips. There is barely a conversation where it is not mentioned. This plague, like some medieval horror from our worst nightmares, has spread like a wild fire. Consuming the entire world in its wake. Changing our realities. Instantaneously. Shaking the very core of our existence.

Human beings are strange creatures. Panic buying, stock piling and mass hysteria - suddenly at the order of the day. The air is thick with fear, anxiety and speculation. Words like "social distancing" and “self isolation" suddenly part of our daily vocabulary. We have been preparing for "lock-down". Yet we have no idea what it is that needs to be done. A concept so foreign, the very word making us scramble in panic. One only a rare few has ever had to fathom. Yet it now has the entire world in its grip.

This virus is showcasing the very worst of humanity. Selfishness. Greed. Paranoia. Fear. Ignorance.

And at the same time, the very best. We are seeing acts of extreme selflessness. Generosity. Unity. Hope. Faith.

It is 4:00 am. My 2,5 year old scrambles into bed beside me. She snuggles up close and falls asleep immediately. I don’t sleep well with them in my space. But today I don’t take her back to her own bed right away. Her even breathing calms my anxious thoughts. That same breathing terrifying me all at once...

I am terrified of what all of this means. Of the isolation we have to endure. Of being kept away from family and friends amidst this frightful time. The stress, uncertainty and frustration. Of being self-employed at a time like this. Of emotional distress, financial loss and economic failure. Of inadequate medical facilities, care, supplies and staff. Of a world that will be unrecognizable at the end of this. Of possibly not being there for the end of it. Or having to sacrifice a loved one to its horror.

Yet I am so very grateful. For loved ones: family and friends, even though we are apart. For my family that is with me, where I can hold them close. For my health and that of my children. For their warm little bodies in my arms. For a home filled with their love and laughter (and often crying and fighting). Of tight hugs and sloppy kisses. For the support of my spiritual and fitness families. For a home with space and all the amenities I could possibly need at a time like this. For a little bit of outdoor space and a glimpse of nature out there, blissfully unaware of how much (in the blink of an eye) it has all changed. For being able to see the sunrise, mountains and vineyards from my window. For the financial capacity to be prepared to some degree, even if means going into debt. For food on the table. For shelter and security. For being so much more fortunate than so many others out there, especially at a time like this. Where mere weeks ago it didn’t possibly seem enough. When I thought I had the world on my shoulders...

And my heart bleeds for those who are not as lucky. For the homeless and unemployed. For those who live in the townships and squatter camps. On top of each other, with no personal space. For those who live hand to mouth. And cannot afford to stay home without an income. For people who will not have food on the table or a safe place to live. For the children of the less advantaged. For those who will be completely alone or without support. For people in abusive, destructive relationships. Or in the midst of a horrible divorce. For those that will have to tolerate the unimaginable. For those whose health are already compromised. Or who falls under the “high risk categories”. For sick and vulnerable children. For the elderly. For our government and those making the hard decisions on our behalf. For healthcare and essential workers. For those who will get sick or have to be hospitalized. For the families who will be directly affected.

It is 6:30 am. My 5 year old crawls into bed with me. She is warm and sleepy beside me. Her body melts into mine. I hold her tight. Content in the moment... My youngest bursts into the room and wrestles for her space in the bed. For a few minutes we are packed tight like sardines in a can. My heart swells and expands. Bursting with love for my little people. And all is well in the world.

Social media has, in recent weeks, exploded like the virus itself. Nearly every single post paying tribute to this thing that is consuming the world. Some are positive and uplifting. Many are concerning or downright terrifying. Compounding our worries. Driving our anxieties. Fueling our fear.

One post in particular (source unknown) has stood out for me:

How great is our God. We're on lock-down by government arrangement from 26 March 2020 and the Bible verse Isaiah 26:20 says “Go home, my people and lock your doors! Hide yourself for a little while until the Lords’s anger has passed.”

The timing is surely His. Amazing!! The Lord commanded a lock-down during Passover in Egypt... when the Angel of death passed over the Israelites when protected by the blood of the lamb - Thursday the 16th of April is when Passover ends.

As you all know that's when our lock-down is lifted... 21 days is on April the 16th. God’s timing. Incredible. Amen and Amen! We are all protected. Stay at home. Be at peace. Our God is in control and He knows what He's doing. Thank You Heavenly Father!

The world is facing a war with an invisible, yet very deadly enemy. Satan has unleashed his powers of destruction on the earth. Yet he is not the all powerful one. Nor the omnipresent.

is anything too hard or too wonderful for the Lord?

Every so often I read through some of my old blog posts. It reminds me of why I do this. Of the spiritual truths and revelations I have come across in my journey of faith. But it also assists in taking stock of my life. To me, it reads like an emotional and spiritual diary. Where I have come from, where I am now. Where I have backslided, where I have overcome.

Oh, I definitely have my favourites. Ironically, most of them, the hardest to write. Through the most challenging of times. 

There is decidedly a central theme running through most of my blog posts. I guess it is just the season I have been going through. I am hoping that this season is coming to an end. That this year, my blog posts will be a little less serious. A little more lighthearted. 

Less challenge and difficulty. More breakthrough and happiness.

But that doesn't mean that it should not be about faith. 

Life challenges test and try our faith. But they also extend and deepen it. It is where God's grace lifts us up, gives us the ability to endure, empowers us to overcome. 

And in happier times, we are filled with gratitude - looking back at where we have come from. In awe of God's faithfulness - that is so much more than we could have hoped or dared ask for. (Ephesians 3:20)

It makes me think of Abraham. For some reason I have had the father of our faith on my mind for months. I have been noticing how often he is mentioned throughout the Bible, especially in the new testament. This man must have been exceptional for him to be given that much exposure in the Word of God...

Abraham is such a powerful example of obedience and faithfulness to God in the face of incredible challenge, uncertainty and doubt. 

a new beginning

And so it is a new year...

A new beginning. A fresh start.

It is remarkable how - even though nothing really changes in the transition from December 31st to January 1st - we somehow feel refreshed. As if we have been given a new lease on life. We suddenly have new goals (for the same things), new energy (to tackle the same problems), new hope (for positive change in the same circumstances). We wait in hopeful anticipation of what the new year may bring.

When we have had a particularly rough year - like 2013 has been for many - we are especially eager to wave farewell to the old and expectantly welcome the new.

Even though I have just finished the new testament (and my NLT chronological Bible), I've decided to also start the new year with the new testament (this year taking on the Amplified Bible). After all, that is exactly what it represents: a new beginning, a fresh start. New life.

The very first chapter in the new testament (Matthew 1), describes the birth of Jesus - a promise fulfilled by God, representing the new covenant with His people. Offering a new beginning, a fresh start. Offering a new life to those who, unlike Herod, would accept Him as their Savior - the very meaning of His name (Jesus), also called Emmanuel - 

"God with us"

She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus [the Greek form of the Hebrew Joshua, which means Savior], for He will save His people from their sins [that is, prevent them from failing and missing the true end and scope of life, which is God]. All this took place that it might be fulfilled which the Lord had spoken through the prophet, "Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel–which, when translated, means, God with us." [Isa. 7:14.] (Matthew 1:21-23 AMP)

I would like to start this year having God-with-me. I want to walk it with my Savior, so that I will not miss God - the purpose of life.

Matthew fastforwards 30 odd years to the scene where Jesus is baptized in the Jordan by John the Baptist and the Spirit of God descends on Him. 

I have never noticed this before... In the last verse of Matthew 3, God proclaims His love for Jesus. But in the very next verse starting off Matthew 4, Jesus - led by the Spirit - is tested and tried by satan. Even though He is God's Beloved Son, in Whom He delights...

And behold, a voice from heaven said, This is My Son, My Beloved, in Whom I delight! [Ps. 2:7; Isa. 42:1.] (Matthew 3:17 AMP) THEN JESUS was led (guided) by the [Holy] Spirit into the wilderness (desert) to be tempted (tested and tried) by the devil. (Matthew 4:1 AMP)

Priscilla Shirer (One in a million: journey to your promised land)

treasure in fragile jars of clay

I've heard that there are four external life events that are the most stressful, or traumatic, experiences that any human being will inevitably face in a lifetime. 

1. The loss or death of a loved one

2. Divorce or breakup of a long term relationship

3. Moving house (or country)

4. Changing jobs or careers

Obviously there are many other things that could be just as traumatic - although probably not experienced by everyone. Some even more so (such as a multitude of health factors, financial loss or poverty, injury or accident, violence or crime, death...) But for the sake of my argument, let's just stick to those four, for the moment.

Five years ago, I experienced three of the four. In the space of a year. Some, more than once. 

The failure of a seven year relationship set the wheels in motion. (Which to me, at the time, pretty much felt like someone dying). I moved three times, including country and continent. And back again. (Not counting a temporary move to my parents' house or the three friends whose couches and spare bedrooms I occupied temporarily on arrival in the UK). In the process I also changed jobs and started my own business.

To me, that had been the most difficult year of my life. In the aftermath - having tried dealing with it in my own way (and failing) - I was not coping too well and felt myself slipping into depression. 

Five years later, considering this past year, I am confident that this last one had been harder. A completely different set of circumstances. Not nearly as life changing - on the contrary the lack of change, to a large extent, has been the main issue - it has been incredibly challenging.

Not yet quite ready to share all that has happened (and not happened) this year, I must admit, I've been a bit of an emotional wreck. Having said that, I am - amazingly - dealing with it much better than I did five years ago.

I believe the major, crucial difference is faith.

Then - I went to church very infrequently. I didn't read my Bible or pray much. I had vague doubts about whether there really is a God or not. At the time, He just seemed like an abstract concept, very far removed from my life.

Now - having been on a spiritual journey for some time now, making a conscious effort to grow spiritually and experience my faith - it is just less daunting to deal with struggles and disappointment. Without letting it crush you. Less lonely. Even though it has been an emotional roller coaster, very trying at times - I am not depressed. 

all for Your glory, God

We don't always understand why "bad" or hard things happen to us. Why we have to go through setbacks. Disappointments. Challenging times.

I honestly don't.

Some of us just seem to have more than our fair share of these periods of difficulty thrown at us by life. I am definitely one of those people. Nothing seems to ever be straightforward. Or easy. Always a fight. Always a challenge.

I don't know if I make it more difficult than it needs to be... Unaccepting. Over analyzing. Offering excessive resistance. 

The question remains: Why does God allow it?

Struggling through an especially persistent phase of challenge, in my quest to determine it's purpose - I have come to a recent revelation: It is to show His glory.

Blessed | Matthew 5:4 from Moving Works on Vimeo.

it's all about faith

I haven't been writing for a while... The more time goes by, the easier it becomes not to. The less time I seem to have. The more excuses I find. And the easier it will be to stop altogether. 

I have come to realize that if I don't get back into it soon, that is exactly what will happen.

The truth is that I have really been struggling lately. Hitting an all time low. Refusing to let me out of its debilitating grip. Squeezing. Suffocating.

Ironically, just before it happened, I got several messages urging me to never stop doing this. Ever. So, somewhere at the back of my mind, I know that I still have to do it. I feel a sense of responsibility to keep going, because this is not just about me or for me anymore - as much as I'd like to argue otherwise. And I have learned that the hardest, most painful things to write, are usually what means the most to others.

This year - one that I was hoping would be the year of breakthrough for us - has really (no sugar coating) been an exceptionally rough one for me. A series of crushing disappointments. On multiple levels of my life. Seemingly the more I pray, trust, hope... beg. The worse it's become. Until I have come to a point where I am unable to do it anymore. Doubting my faith. Questioning my God.

To some degree, I have actually been afraid to write. Of what I might write. Catapulting from a spiritual high to an extreme low, is in itself a disappointing blow to me. 

I've come to a point where I don't want to go to church. Or do mentoring. Or pray. I don't want to talk about it anymore, because I am honestly sick to death of all the cliches: "God has something bigger, better planned for you. Everything will work out... in His time. There is a plan and a purpose with all of this"... I am tired of hearing how things are working out so perfectly for others - magically falling into place by some or other miracle. It all just seems so futile. Like some cruel, twisted joke. And even though I still read my Bible on most days, I find a disturbing feeling welling up inside of me. Silently, disdainfully scoffing at the message. Angry at God. Not believing a word. Because how do you believe when things just keep going from bad to worse?

I must say... I have been sufficiently chastised. From various angles. My husband. Friends. A sermon meant specifically for me. Because my attitude needs some serious revision. I need to see this as an opportunity to grow and learn. To quit feeling so damned sorry for myself. Making it all about me. Because it's not. 

In the end it's all about faith.

Granted - It is not always easy to have faith. Especially if you are trusting God for something that just does not seem to happen. And doesn't look like it is going to...

(Encouraging word by Priscilla Shirer - a mighty woman of God. Incredibly inspiring when I need a boost of faith)

hope in the Lord

Hope - in some ways, is very much like doubt. Small embers, glowing in the dark. Taking light, its flame slowing burning until it becomes a bright beam in the darkness.

Like a fire, it is beautiful to behold. Its warmth soothing on your skin. But when you come too close, it burns you. Out of control, it will consume you.

Hope can so easily be transformed into earth shattering disappointment. Anger. Resentment.

Unfounded. Misguided. Hope comes like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Disguised as unanswered prayer. Hopelessness. Defeat.

The enemy is shouting in my mind: Where is this God that you believe in? He doesn't care about you! He doesn't even hear you! He is not going to answer your prayers. He has forsaken you! Does He even exist...? This God of yours. 

WHERE is He?!

Words, lies - flowing like tears.

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God! (Psalms 42:11 NLT)

You don't miss a thing

One night last week I went to bed with doubt in my heart. To me - it seems - that God is answering everyone's prayers but mine. And suddenly I am filled with doubt. Does God care about me? Why doesn't He change my circumstances when He can so obviously do it without any effort? Does He even know about me? About my life? My circumstances? Why doesn't He change it when I ask Him to?

And immediately I feel ashamed. Ashamed because I write this blog about faith and trust and belief. And still I doubt... And the enemy comes to kill and destroy. Whispering more words of doubt in my ear. Why do you even bother... You are just wasting your time. What difference does it make anyway?

As I was drifting off to sleep, I thought of people that have asked God for signs. And then more signs to prove that the first one was real. And I pray that He will give me a sign so that I will know that He will come through for me. That He will give me the breakthrough that I have been praying for - for so long. That He will increase my faith and trust and hope in Him.  

The next morning I woke up with words of a song You know me by Bethel Music (The Loft Sessions) playing in my mind: 

"And nothing is hidden from Your sight. Wherever I go, You find me. You know every detail of my life. And You are God. And You don't miss a thing. O, You know me..." 

"You memorize me." 

Doesn't that just say it all? It captures His great love for us.

And as the morning progresses, I get three messages, from three completely unrelated people. Saying that something that I wrote was meant for them. That it inspires them. That it somehow makes a difference to them. 

Whenever I have doubt in my heart about writing this blog, this is what happens - three messages from three individuals, communicated in three different ways. Surely - divine encouragement! God uses you (you know who you are) to encourage me too. Thank you! It means the world to me.

trust without borders - part 3

In my mind's eye I have this image of a lake. It is set next to a range of smaller valleys and hills. Calm and smooth as a mirror. The time of day must be dusk, because all the colours are fading away and everything is painted in shades of grey. One colour flowing into the next, with only the contrast of dark and light that differentiates shapes. Reflections glimmering on the surface of the water.

The image is tranquil. Calm and soothing.

For some reason I imagine this to be a place where Jesus would be. Maybe from the scene where Jesus was teaching the multitudes at the Sea of Galilee (also called the Lake of Gennesaret). After the crowds have left. So I look for Him on the far shore and for a moment I see a profile in the shadows. But it must be my imagination playing tricks on me. There is no-one there.

Then, totally unexpected, I feel a tender embrace from behind me. And I realise that, even though I don't always see Him, He is always there. Carrying me through whatever my situation is. With tender love and support.

I will call upon your name. Keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in your embrace. I am Yours and You are mine. (Oceans, Hillsong United)

You may have noticed that this song is of special significance to me (for reasons not completely known to me). As I mentioned in my first post about it, trust without borders - part 1 - it touches my spirit. Every time I listen to it, it seems to give me a new message. A deeper meaning.

So, quite understandably, when they gave this song special attention during the opening ceremony of the recent Hillsong Colour Conference in Cape Town, which I had the priveledge of attending earlier in April - I was elated. Overcome by emotion.

I thought that it was beautiful and special and awesome. But I didn't make much more of it. I didn't read a deeper meaning into it. Or think that it had special significance for me. At the time, I thought that it was pure coincidence.

undeserved grace

I wrote this post more than a week ago, but was reluctant to publish it. To let it go out into the world. Because it is so very personal. Because it was written from a place of deep hurt and brokenness. From a place of entitlement. A certainty that I deserved more than this life I have been given. It exposes my vulnerability, my insecurities, my fear.

Today I realized that in writing this, was a turning point for me. I came to the realization that God has been making some monumental shifts in my mind, in my heart, in my spirit. I have come so amazingly far in such an incredibly short space of time. And I continue to grow spiritually every day. Even though materially I am not doing so well, my soul has never been in better shape. So He must be working in me. Because I used to be a glass-half-empty kind of person. Now I am leaning towards glass-brimming-over. Now I choose to be optimistic. Learning to see God as my Source. My Provider. And I know that I will be more than just okay.      

If I am one thing, it is that I am hard on myself.

When I do something, I must give 110% and be the best at doing it, or it won't be good enough. I set myself up to fail, because I can not possibly meet the standards that I set for myself. No one can.

And still, I am upset when I don't measure up.

I have been confronted with some harsh realities about myself recently. And it is going to be really hard to put it out there. Because it is so incredibly personal. And once I have it there - out in the open, in black and white - I can never go back.

it's a dog's life - part 1 (Jasper)

Our dog, Jasper, is not a typical border collie. In fact, he is quite unusual. Unlike Luka, the other furry member of our family, who is a border collie in the extreme sense of the breed.

Jasper (apparently that was the only name he would respond to) - or Jassie, as I like to call him - is a runaway. We guess that he was about 1 year old when my husband, Waldo, found him. Malnourished, frightened and most likely abused. Oh but had he known the royal life that was awaiting him!

The sad reality is that, even though they are declared to be the most intelligent of all canine breeds, border collies are often abandoned or neglected, as they are very high energy dogs and need a huge amount of attention. They are not typical family pets and are not generally known to be very child friendly, since they have a tendency to want to herd little children!

I do not really think this was the case with Jassie though... 

sitting for his sip of water

lazy day dreaming

a journey of faith

I used to think that being a Christian meant acknowledging it. Going to church once in a while, reading the Bible when there was time (which wasn't all that often) and praying to God if I needed something.

I suppose in the very basic sense, it could be. During the Old Testament times, I would probably have been in trouble! But now, after Christ, all we have to do is believe.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:9-10, 13 NLT

But it is so much more than that.

It is a lifestyle. A life changing, mind altering one. 

It is also a journey. A process. One that, once started, is practically impossible to stop.

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ right up to the time of His return, developing that good work and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. Philippians 1:6 AMP

trust without borders - part 2

Ironically I recently talked about coincidence (or, maybe rather the opposite of it). Something God wants to highlight for you. To focus your attention. And make you take note.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:8-9 NLT

These are the verses that my attention has recently been drawn to. Continuously. From various sources.

And it has somehow drawn me back to a song that has also recently given me pause - from a post I did, called trust without borders. My focus was on trust and faith. Which is - still - absolutely true. I still, most definitely, want to have trust without borders and for my faith to be made stronger.

But the song goes so much deeper than that.

trust without borders - part 1

Sometimes I struggle with trust.

The world we live in makes it hard for us to trust. People make it hard for us to trust. But we forget that God is not like people. He is not like the world.

Trusting Him should be easy. It is something that I aspire to - trusting God completely.

I always listen to the words of songs. To my husband's frustration. He says that I spoil the songs for him by pointing out words that don't make sense. But it is actually the words that spoil the song. To me it is not just about a beautiful melody or a catchy tune. It has to mean something.

The lyrics of this beautiful song by Hillsong United touch my spirit. It resonates with my heart.

This is what I long for in my life right now. Trust without borders. For my faith to be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour.

Oceans (where my feet may fail) - Hillsong United

rock bottom

I have been there. Many times.

I have been there in my relationships. I have been there in my career, my business, my finances. I have been there in my relationship with God.

I know what it is to feel betrayed. Lonely. Unloved. I know what it is to feel like a failure. Inadequate. Unsuccessful. What it is to feel like I am not good enough. Broken. Unworthy.

I have been there. Again. Recently.

But this time was different. 

when we struggle with doubt

Doubt. A tiny bad seed that creeps in between the good, that grows and spreads. Consumes and destroys.

It is what makes us blow things up. Out if proportion. Unrealistically larger than life. It is what makes us worry and question and fear.

It is what made me wait two days before adding my last post. What made me question myself all over again for doing this. It is what makes me worry about the future and question God's timing. His promises. His presence.

I have been reading about Moses and the Israelites. And finding it excruciatingly frustrating. It is not my first attempt at trying to read about them - God's people. And I have given up on them more than once.

They got to experience miracle upon miracle, upon miracle firsthand. And still they doubted. A God that lead them out of slavery, poverty and captivity. A God that parted the seas and gave them manna out of heaven. A God that traveled in their midst by cloud and by fire.

God had to repeatedly tell them: "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: I am the Lord your God." Numbers 15:41 NKJV

That says something about our nature, how little faith we have.

puppy love

I have often wondered what it would be like if we could be more like our dogs when it comes to our faith.

I know everyone out there are not dog people. To be honest, I don't get it. Yes, I know that they are a big responsibility. They bark, they are messy, they don't clean up after themselves. And don't even mention the hair!

But I love dogs. Two in particular. They are drawn to me - all shapes and sizes and breeds. I think they sense how much I adore them. For years I have had this deep longing to have one (or two) of my own. I just knew that it would change my life.

When I met my husband Waldo, I didn't think that he was my type, at first... Little did I know. But he had these two adorable border collies. They stole my heart before he did. Jasper was mine from the start - he is easy like that. Luka made me work for it - but now I am one of her select few. God knew my heart.

These dogs and I adopted each other. Absolutely.

wait on the Lord

I have been staring at the empty Home page for a while. What should I write? Now that I have set up the blog and made some small, insignificant changes here and there.

I guess I should start writing something now... I mean, that is what this is all about, right? Writing. Thoughts and ideas and hopes and dreams. Faith and promises and purpose and meaning. But also fears and worries. And things that scare us.

And I am a bit scared.

This morning I suddenly thought - Why am I doing this again? What will be the purpose of it? And, as undeniably human as I am, I can't help wondering what will other people think of this. Of me. What will my friends think? And people who don't know me?

Some people will definitely see me in a different light after this. Because of this. Better or worse. 

But that is just the risk I am going to have to take. To put myself out there. To take some time out of my day to write something here. Because I still feel the need to do it.

So here goes... My first attempt at blogging. At journaling: