a new beginning

And so it is a new year...

A new beginning. A fresh start.

It is remarkable how - even though nothing really changes in the transition from December 31st to January 1st - we somehow feel refreshed. As if we have been given a new lease on life. We suddenly have new goals (for the same things), new energy (to tackle the same problems), new hope (for positive change in the same circumstances). We wait in hopeful anticipation of what the new year may bring.

When we have had a particularly rough year - like 2013 has been for many - we are especially eager to wave farewell to the old and expectantly welcome the new.

Even though I have just finished the new testament (and my NLT chronological Bible), I've decided to also start the new year with the new testament (this year taking on the Amplified Bible). After all, that is exactly what it represents: a new beginning, a fresh start. New life.

The very first chapter in the new testament (Matthew 1), describes the birth of Jesus - a promise fulfilled by God, representing the new covenant with His people. Offering a new beginning, a fresh start. Offering a new life to those who, unlike Herod, would accept Him as their Savior - the very meaning of His name (Jesus), also called Emmanuel - 

"God with us"

She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus [the Greek form of the Hebrew Joshua, which means Savior], for He will save His people from their sins [that is, prevent them from failing and missing the true end and scope of life, which is God]. All this took place that it might be fulfilled which the Lord had spoken through the prophet, "Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel–which, when translated, means, God with us." [Isa. 7:14.] (Matthew 1:21-23 AMP)

I would like to start this year having God-with-me. I want to walk it with my Savior, so that I will not miss God - the purpose of life.

Matthew fastforwards 30 odd years to the scene where Jesus is baptized in the Jordan by John the Baptist and the Spirit of God descends on Him. 

I have never noticed this before... In the last verse of Matthew 3, God proclaims His love for Jesus. But in the very next verse starting off Matthew 4, Jesus - led by the Spirit - is tested and tried by satan. Even though He is God's Beloved Son, in Whom He delights...

And behold, a voice from heaven said, This is My Son, My Beloved, in Whom I delight! [Ps. 2:7; Isa. 42:1.] (Matthew 3:17 AMP) THEN JESUS was led (guided) by the [Holy] Spirit into the wilderness (desert) to be tempted (tested and tried) by the devil. (Matthew 4:1 AMP)

Priscilla Shirer (One in a million: journey to your promised land)

treasure in fragile jars of clay

I've heard that there are four external life events that are the most stressful, or traumatic, experiences that any human being will inevitably face in a lifetime. 

1. The loss or death of a loved one

2. Divorce or breakup of a long term relationship

3. Moving house (or country)

4. Changing jobs or careers

Obviously there are many other things that could be just as traumatic - although probably not experienced by everyone. Some even more so (such as a multitude of health factors, financial loss or poverty, injury or accident, violence or crime, death...) But for the sake of my argument, let's just stick to those four, for the moment.

Five years ago, I experienced three of the four. In the space of a year. Some, more than once. 

The failure of a seven year relationship set the wheels in motion. (Which to me, at the time, pretty much felt like someone dying). I moved three times, including country and continent. And back again. (Not counting a temporary move to my parents' house or the three friends whose couches and spare bedrooms I occupied temporarily on arrival in the UK). In the process I also changed jobs and started my own business.

To me, that had been the most difficult year of my life. In the aftermath - having tried dealing with it in my own way (and failing) - I was not coping too well and felt myself slipping into depression. 

Five years later, considering this past year, I am confident that this last one had been harder. A completely different set of circumstances. Not nearly as life changing - on the contrary the lack of change, to a large extent, has been the main issue - it has been incredibly challenging.

Not yet quite ready to share all that has happened (and not happened) this year, I must admit, I've been a bit of an emotional wreck. Having said that, I am - amazingly - dealing with it much better than I did five years ago.

I believe the major, crucial difference is faith.

Then - I went to church very infrequently. I didn't read my Bible or pray much. I had vague doubts about whether there really is a God or not. At the time, He just seemed like an abstract concept, very far removed from my life.

Now - having been on a spiritual journey for some time now, making a conscious effort to grow spiritually and experience my faith - it is just less daunting to deal with struggles and disappointment. Without letting it crush you. Less lonely. Even though it has been an emotional roller coaster, very trying at times - I am not depressed. 

just breathe...

It was raining as I woke up on Tuesday morning. Winter is creeping up on us. It was chilly and still black night outside the window. When the world outside is still sleeping, I find it extremely hard to wake up. But I knew that I had to take the dogs for their walk - rain or shine. I haven't walked them for 2 days and (as border collies tend to get without exercise) Luka was becoming increasingly hyperactive and restless. Throwing sad glances my way each time she realized that "the walk" wasn't happening.

And I just felt like pulling the duvet over my head and staying in bed. But walk we were going to do...

Before the dreaded walk, still warmly tucked under the covers, I read a chapter from the book, Unmerited Favor by Joseph Prince, called Practicing the Presence of Jesus.

The chapter starts with the following: "Let's look at some practical keys on how you can begin to experience God's manifested presence in your life by practicing His presence. It is one thing to know theoretically that God is with you, but to experience His presence, you have to increase your consciousness of His presence by practicing His presence! This is not something difficult. In fact, it should be rather effortless..."

As I am reading this, my heart sinks.

I have read and heard and been given advice about my walk with God - by many well meaning Christians. The thing that usually gets me down is that, most of the time, you are given a message but are not told how to implement it. 

Maybe that person doesn't know how to do this. Maybe you are expected to know how to do it all by yourself. But I usually end up feeling discouraged and defeated because it just seems like another idealistic theory that seems impossible to apply in your life.

Immediately I think: Off course I want to experience God's presence, but HOW do you practice it??

The fantastic thing about this book is that it is written as a practical guideline and the author actually does give you realistic, everyday examples of how you can practice God's presence.