come back to Me and live!

This past week a friend was sharing something with me that she is going through. As she was speaking, I could so clearly see her words reflected back at me. At my life. Situations I have been in.

There's been so many times in my past - distant and near - when I have felt uncertain about the future. Worried. Afraid.

When I have felt that God is not with me. That He has abandoned me. That His favour is not over my life. Feeling so far removed from an intimate relationship with my Maker.

That is a dark place to be. Hopeless.

I have learned that - with God - there is no such thing as coincidence. Only confirmation...

So the next morning I came across this scripture in Hosea that so beautifully describes these feelings of loss and insecurity (with the context once again being Israel forsaking their God):

The Lord says that if we return to Him, He will heal us and bandage our wounds. He will restore us "in just a short time". So that we may live in His presence and know Him. The scripture urges you to press on and know Him. Promising that He will respond. Like the arrival of dawn. Like the rain in early spring. Without any doubt! (Hosea 6:1-3)

"...for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you..." (Hosea 11:9 NLT)

countless wonders

Creation. God's amazing masterpiece. What we see around us every day.

It is something I have been meaning to write about for some time. But it is such an awe inspiring, beautifully overwhelming thing. That I have found it hard to put the right words to it. Maybe because there are none. Human words can not grasp it.

My favourite time of day is just before the sun sets. Everything is bathed in hues of yellow and gold. Making the world appear soft and friendly. A happy place.

For years I didn't spend much time outdoors. I have an office job. And I am not sporty. So by default I don't get outside much. Since I have started walking our dogs however, I spend time in the same little part of nature on most days.

The thing that never ceases to amaze me is how different that little bit of world is from one day to the next. It changes. Constantly. Not one day is the same.

The backdrop is painted in different colours, with strokes of cloud and sky. Some days have flawlessly blue skies with sunshine enhancing the colour of every little detail. Other days are gloomy and dark, seeped in shades of gray, rain drenching the earth with its goodness.

"Both day and night belong to you; you made the starlight and the sun. You set the boundaries of the earth, and made both summer and winter." (Psalm 74:16-17 NLT)

Weather. Seasons. Birds. Animals. Even my state of mind. It all influences what that part of nature looks like. Sounds like. Feels like. And it is different. Every day.

And that is just looking from one individual's perspective, at one part of the day, in one tiny part of the world - as we know it. 

On one particular day, it is different from one hour to the next. Imagine the countless variations every day, at every hour, in every part of creation. Each day, each hour is a masterpiece. Created for our pleasure. And each of us experience it in our own unique way.

"The heavens are Yours, and the earth is Yours; everything in the world is Yours - You created it all. You created north and south." (Psalm 89:11-12 NLT)

it's a dog's life - part 2 (Luka)

A while ago I wrote a post about Jasper, one of our two border collies. Ever since, I have had the knowledge in the back of my mind that I had to write something about the other one, Luka too. After all, I can't write about the one and not the other...

But what to write...

Then the other day, I came across a verse in Psalm 36. I wrote about the rest of this passage (verse 5-9) in another post, in the shadow of Your wings. But this little verse somehow did not seem to fit. At odds with the rest of the passage. Standing out. It stuck:

"You care for animals and people alike, O Lord."

Alike. That says something about the importance of animals to God. They are of the same value to Him that we are. God created us in His image. And He gave us authority over animals. To care for them. (Genesis 1:27-28)

This verse made me think of Luka. At 12 years old, she is not the lively little pup she used to be (sadly, I never got to meet that little pup - although she may just have been a bit much for me to handle, by the sound of it). But she certainly is not letting age get to her!

One handicap that she does have is arthritis. Her back legs and hips are the worst affected. It is heart breaking to see the once extremely active dog struggle to get up after laying down for a while, when it's cold. Snap when you accidentally touch a sensitive spot. Not able to do the things she used to.

All because an insensitive, careless human being threw her with half a brick. For barking. The most natural response for any dog. I don't know how anyone can be so cruel, so heartless.

Ironic to see that man now walking with a limp of his own...

God cares for animals and people alike.  

to be thankful...

Some days I find it really hard to be thankful. Oh, to live with a spirit of thankfulness...

Us humans seem to be incapable of ever having enough. To be content with what we have. Where we are. Who we are.

We always want more. And more.

Even those of us who have more than most. Still we want more. More, Lord.

We are blinded by the things that we still need. The things that we still want. The things that we still want to do.

We so often forget to notice that what we do have. And appreciate it. Be thankful for it.

The Word says that we should make thankfulness our sacrifice to God. To keep the vows that we have made to Him. That if we do, we can call on Him when we are in trouble. That He will rescue us. Give us His glory.

Giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors Him. That if we keep to His path, He will reveal to us the salvation of God. (Psalm 50:14-15, 23)

You don't miss a thing

One night last week I went to bed with doubt in my heart. To me - it seems - that God is answering everyone's prayers but mine. And suddenly I am filled with doubt. Does God care about me? Why doesn't He change my circumstances when He can so obviously do it without any effort? Does He even know about me? About my life? My circumstances? Why doesn't He change it when I ask Him to?

And immediately I feel ashamed. Ashamed because I write this blog about faith and trust and belief. And still I doubt... And the enemy comes to kill and destroy. Whispering more words of doubt in my ear. Why do you even bother... You are just wasting your time. What difference does it make anyway?

As I was drifting off to sleep, I thought of people that have asked God for signs. And then more signs to prove that the first one was real. And I pray that He will give me a sign so that I will know that He will come through for me. That He will give me the breakthrough that I have been praying for - for so long. That He will increase my faith and trust and hope in Him.  

The next morning I woke up with words of a song You know me by Bethel Music (The Loft Sessions) playing in my mind: 

"And nothing is hidden from Your sight. Wherever I go, You find me. You know every detail of my life. And You are God. And You don't miss a thing. O, You know me..." 

"You memorize me." 

Doesn't that just say it all? It captures His great love for us.

And as the morning progresses, I get three messages, from three completely unrelated people. Saying that something that I wrote was meant for them. That it inspires them. That it somehow makes a difference to them. 

Whenever I have doubt in my heart about writing this blog, this is what happens - three messages from three individuals, communicated in three different ways. Surely - divine encouragement! God uses you (you know who you are) to encourage me too. Thank you! It means the world to me.

rain down on me - part 1

As I mentioned in my last post, we have recently been on a vacation to Europe. And although it was an experience of a lifetime - as with many things in life - it did not quite turn out as we had hoped or planned...

The first week of our long anticipated trip was packed with exciting sights and experiences - we hardly touched ground, making it our mission to see every sight and do every thing humanly possible in the time available to us.

The second week however, was the main reason for our trip. It has been in the pipeline for more than a year and was to be at a much slower pace. It involved a barge trip with my family on the canals of the French winelands of Burgundy - to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday. We were hoping for good family bonding time, sunny spring weather, good food, good wine, maybe even a tan if we were lucky. As romantic as that sounds, unfortunately, we were not.

On top of icy cold weather (and an especially persistent sinus infection for me), the heavens opened up and poured down consistently for most of our week. We seem to have been somewhat over enthusiastic for the tourist season, that only starts in June, which meant that we found most of the shops and restaurants closed in the little French towns we visited. Before our very eyes, we saw the level of the water in the canals rising within days. 

As I had to spend most of my time inside the cabin of the boat, it felt as if I was missing out on the beautiful scenery and countryside. On an experience that I felt that I was owed somehow. At the time, I remember thinking, that it was just so typical of this phase of my life that I am in. Seemingly - a winter without end.

in the shadow of Your wings

I haven't written here for awhile. Mostly because I was fortunate enough to take some much needed time out and travel to Europe for two weeks. But also, even if I did have time to write during the last week of our trip, I was feeling somewhat at a loss on what to write about. Blank.

Sitting on the flight back to Cape Town, I was considering my circumstances at home, feeling myself slip back into despair about the current state of the life I was returning to. Coming to the realization of just how badly I had needed to get away and just forget about everything. Even if it was just for a little while. But sadly (I have to confess), at the same time, also how unashamedly I had neglected my quiet time with God over the past two weeks. I had even taken a break from that!

All things considered - most probably my lack of quiet time goes a long way in explaining my state of mind at the time.

Having just returned from our trip, I was feeling a bit out of sorts. Wondering how I was going to get back into the spiritual routine I had worked so hard to establish. And so easily let slip. Not because God expects it of me, but because I really do need it. Like breathing.

And so, on my first morning back home, I open my Bible to Psalm 36 (verse 5-9):

Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths. You care for people and animals alike, O Lord. How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings. You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your river of delights. For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see.

Even though I had planned to catch up on my shamefully behind daily Bible reading plan, I got stuck right away on this Psalm. And I recall having read words by Priscilla Shirer - something to this extent: When you feel the Word of God leap out of the page and stun you, stop right there. Don't rush ahead with your Bible reading. Because it is the living Word of God at work. It is not some random coincidence. It is God Himself speaking to you through His Word.

Psalm 36 says that God's love for us is unfailing. It is as vast as the heavens. The greatness and extent of God's love for us is so indescribable that David used our only known reference. Creation. The heavens and the clouds. And even that is beyond human grasp.