battlefield of the mind - part 1

We have been away for a couple of days over the Easter holidays. To take some time out of an already busy and challenging year. At the end of 2012 I had declared that 2013 was going to be my year - the year where things were going to start working out for us.

But I started the year feeling exhausted. And so far this year has been even harder than the last one.

This week was meant to be a week of rest and restoration. But nearing the end of our break, I am feeling even more exhausted than before. Feeling stressed and tired and discouraged. The results are wreaking havoc on my body - physically and emotionally.

The thing that set all of this into motion, was an unexpected blow that threatens the existence of a business venture of the past two plus years. A venture that demanded large measures of sacrifice, time, effort and a huge financial investment from my family. And it meant that I had to get out of my comfort zone.

A venture that was just starting to show the fruits of our efforts. And is now effectively going to die a swift death. With me on the losing side. And the duration and casualties of war still undetermined.

Arguably this is big. And it will have massive implications for me. It should be expected that it is going to have some kind of impact on me. But how I choose to deal with it is my decision... And it will - in the end - determine the outcome.

a journey of faith

I used to think that being a Christian meant acknowledging it. Going to church once in a while, reading the Bible when there was time (which wasn't all that often) and praying to God if I needed something.

I suppose in the very basic sense, it could be. During the Old Testament times, I would probably have been in trouble! But now, after Christ, all we have to do is believe.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:9-10, 13 NLT

But it is so much more than that.

It is a lifestyle. A life changing, mind altering one. 

It is also a journey. A process. One that, once started, is practically impossible to stop.

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ right up to the time of His return, developing that good work and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. Philippians 1:6 AMP

trust without borders - part 2

Ironically I recently talked about coincidence (or, maybe rather the opposite of it). Something God wants to highlight for you. To focus your attention. And make you take note.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:8-9 NLT

These are the verses that my attention has recently been drawn to. Continuously. From various sources.

And it has somehow drawn me back to a song that has also recently given me pause - from a post I did, called trust without borders. My focus was on trust and faith. Which is - still - absolutely true. I still, most definitely, want to have trust without borders and for my faith to be made stronger.

But the song goes so much deeper than that.

take the first step

In my last post I mentioned that I am reading The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer. Shortly after that post, I was reading a section in the book called Leaving a Godly legacy, in which she describes a scene from Deuteronomy in the Old Testament where Moses is trying to impress upon the Israelites the crucial decisions that they were faced with.

I thought that was a surprising coincidence after my recent post about Moses and the Israelites, when we struggle with doubt. But still, just a coincidence.

The very next day, I read that exact same scripture in Deuteronomy as part of my chronological Bible reading plan...

A little too much coincidence?

I think so. There must be a message in there for me...

Your grace is enough

Truth be told, I didn't really think about the name of this blog for very long. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. And it seemed right.

Grace...

This word has already come up so many times this year. It seems to be my word for where I am in my life right now. I have read it online, in books and in the Bible. I have heard it in so many places. I have seen it and experienced it.

I need it. Lots of it!

And I am expecting it. God's grace.

trust without borders - part 1

Sometimes I struggle with trust.

The world we live in makes it hard for us to trust. People make it hard for us to trust. But we forget that God is not like people. He is not like the world.

Trusting Him should be easy. It is something that I aspire to - trusting God completely.

I always listen to the words of songs. To my husband's frustration. He says that I spoil the songs for him by pointing out words that don't make sense. But it is actually the words that spoil the song. To me it is not just about a beautiful melody or a catchy tune. It has to mean something.

The lyrics of this beautiful song by Hillsong United touch my spirit. It resonates with my heart.

This is what I long for in my life right now. Trust without borders. For my faith to be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour.

Oceans (where my feet may fail) - Hillsong United

rock bottom

I have been there. Many times.

I have been there in my relationships. I have been there in my career, my business, my finances. I have been there in my relationship with God.

I know what it is to feel betrayed. Lonely. Unloved. I know what it is to feel like a failure. Inadequate. Unsuccessful. What it is to feel like I am not good enough. Broken. Unworthy.

I have been there. Again. Recently.

But this time was different.