As I was laying in bed this morning, listening to the rain pouring down - reluctant to start my day. To get up out of my warm and comfortable bed, to face the cold and wet. I considered that I haven't been very active in writing here lately. I have been going through an odd phase. Feeling that I am stagnating. Neglected, abandoned, forgotten.
The weather has not been helping. It's been a long, cold and wet winter. I haven't been able to go out walking with the dogs much - leaving them frustrated, as well as me. It is where I find my inspiration. It grounds me, gives me energy, gathers my spirit... If I do get a chance to take them for a walk though, they are so excited to be out. Dragging me along enthusiastically. The only thing I can focus on is not falling on my face on the slippery, muddy farm roads.
I have also been reading the 24/7 Chronological Bible, which effectively means that I have been reading the old testament all year. Although I do think it is important to read, I have been struggling through Chronicles, Kings, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel... Which is overwhelmingly doom and gloom. Not easy reading. Not really lifting my spirits. I am starting to feel like the Israelites in their suffering. Punished, abandoned by God, banished from the promised land.
Recently, I have found myself - more than once - flipping through the remainder of my Bible to see when I will finally reach the new testament (as if it will somehow be sooner if I look more often). Considering that I may be backsliding into "the old testament view" of my religion. When people had to earn their salvation by the way they lived and behaved. Before Jesus came to save them from their misery.
But this morning I came upon one of the many gems in the old testament, in Ezekiel 34 (verses 11-24):
The prophet speaks about a God that will search, find and tend his sheep - Himself. A shepherd looking for his scattered flock. Rescuing them, feeding them, bringing them back home. Ending their suffering - not because they deserve it - but because He is a great and holy God (Ezekiel 36:22-24). Giving them good pastureland where they will lie down in peace, in pleasant places, feeding in lush pastures. Searching for the lost and strayed. Bandaging the injured and strengthening the weak. Giving them one shepherd to feed them and be a prince among them. Being their God.
It reminded me of this half written, almost forgotten post - that was meant to be part of called by name - part 1, but seemed to have a mind of its own, developing into a different message, with the same undercurrent.
That we were each called by name.
That we were each called by name.
He says that I feel deserted by Him. As if He has forgotten me.
To which He responds (Isaiah 49: 15-16 NLT):
“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?
Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!
See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”
Earlier I had read this passage in Isaiah (40: 25-31 and 41:8-10 NLT):
“To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.
Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing.
O, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard? Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
“But as for you, my servant, my chosen one,
I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying,
‘You are my servant.’ For I have chosen you and will not throw you away.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
We may feel that God does not see our troubles, that He does not care about what we are going through. But He calls even the stars by name. Not a single one is missing. How much more does He not care about each of us? He understands. He cares. And He will give new strength to those who need it.
The Bible says (Isaiah 43:1-4, 7, 13; 55:3 NLT):
But now, listen to the Lord who created you...
the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.
Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory.
It was I who created them.
From eternity to eternity I am God.
No one can snatch (you) out of my hand.
No one can undo what I have done.”
“Come to me with your ears wide open.
Listen, and you will find life.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you.
