I have been staring at the empty Home page for a while. What should I write? Now that I have set up the blog and made some small, insignificant changes here and there.
I guess I should start writing something now... I mean, that is what this is all about, right? Writing. Thoughts and ideas and hopes and dreams. Faith and promises and purpose and meaning. But also fears and worries. And things that scare us.
And I am a bit scared.
This morning I suddenly thought - Why am I doing this again? What will be the purpose of it? And, as undeniably human as I am, I can't help wondering what will other people think of this. Of me. What will my friends think? And people who don't know me?
Some people will definitely see me in a different light after this. Because of this. Better or worse.
But that is just the risk I am going to have to take. To put myself out there. To take some time out of my day to write something here. Because I still feel the need to do it.
So here goes... My first attempt at blogging. At journaling:
A friend told me recently that when I read the Bible, I should keep on going until I find something that stands out. Because that is what God wants to show me. That is what He wants me to know. To make a part of myself.
Many days I keep on going and nothing talks to me, nothing jumps out of the page and pulls me in.
Today was not one of those days.
Everything seemed to want my attention.
For today, I am going to start with Psalm 27.
And, at the risk of interrupting myself, right here at the start - I read just yesterday on another blog by a girl named Lindsy (who I don't know), that even though David was quite messed up, he was one of the few people in the Bible who really got it. That we need God first. Before everything else. And the rest will follow.
So, back to David and Psalm 27.
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
Really Marti, after reading that this morning, you are still afraid of what people might think?! He is my light, my salvation. He is the strength of my life. I have absolutely no reason to be scared!
One thing I have desired of the Lord;
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And inquire in His temple.
Teach me Your Way, O Lord,
And lead me in a smooth path...
To me, that is confirmation that I should keep doing this. Even though I don't know why I am doing it, or what the purpose of it is. My desire is to grow closer to the Lord and that is what I am doing right? Seeking Him. Giving more of my time, of me. Trying to surround myself with Him in the best way that I know how.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Waldo (whose birthday coincides with my first post today) always says that he doesn't know how people who don't believe in God, face the setbacks in life. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed. Because our belief is what gives us hope. What helps us move forward, even though things are not the way we would have liked and our circumstances are less than ideal.
But there is a promise in there too. And confirmation of all His other promises. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. When God makes a promise, He intends to keep it. Maybe not when or how we would have liked, but in His time, in His way.
Wait on the Lord.
